Matthew Martin- Public Service Announcement

“Humans are the weakest, most undeveloped civilization in the galaxy. Humans should be a pushover, but whenever aliens see a human, they flee in terror. No one knows why.”

– Dead Poets Society

I’m here to give a PSA about one of the biggest lies ever told to our people

Humans are the ones that are actually scary!

Some are hairy

And some hair is green

They can be tall

They can be mean

Some don’t care at all

Some have low self-esteem


Some humans are strong

Some humans are meek

But one thing’s for sure

None of them are weak


If one of them said boo

I’d probably jump

And that’s freaky considering my people grow humps

And sharp teeth

And claws we unsheath when we’re frightened by the people we were told we wouldn’t have to be fighting


But humans are scary

They keep me up all night


Pushovers doing push-ups

To get strong enough to push us

Off their planet


They watch horror for fun

And play games with gore and guns

in older days I’m told their bad people were hung


Not only that

They consume so much fat

Cute little animals eaten for pleasure

Then they wonder why their bellies break the tape measure


My people are collected calm and estoot

While these people watch nobodies do nothing on YouTube

We read books and watch plays

They watch smut and eat lays


If aliens are supposed to be evil and frightening how is that humans are much more unsightly


We’ve been lied to people

It’s time we move on to a place with less worth

A place the humans don’t call earth


We have to go somewhere far

I’ve heard of this little red place the humans call mars


They won’t get there soon

The furthest they’ve gone is their moon


This has been a Public service announcement.”

– Matthew Martin, 11

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