“Humans are the weakest, most undeveloped civilization in the galaxy. Humans should be a pushover, but whenever aliens see a human, they flee in terror. No one knows why.”
– Dead Poets Society
“I’m here to give a PSA about one of the biggest lies ever told to our people
Humans are the ones that are actually scary!
Some are hairy
And some hair is green
They can be tall
They can be mean
Some don’t care at all
Some have low self-esteem
Some humans are strong
Some humans are meek
But one thing’s for sure
None of them are weak
If one of them said boo
I’d probably jump
And that’s freaky considering my people grow humps
And sharp teeth
And claws we unsheath when we’re frightened by the people we were told we wouldn’t have to be fighting
But humans are scary
They keep me up all night
Pushovers doing push-ups
To get strong enough to push us
Off their planet
They watch horror for fun
And play games with gore and guns
in older days I’m told their bad people were hung
Not only that
They consume so much fat
Cute little animals eaten for pleasure
Then they wonder why their bellies break the tape measure
My people are collected calm and estoot
While these people watch nobodies do nothing on YouTube
We read books and watch plays
They watch smut and eat lays
If aliens are supposed to be evil and frightening how is that humans are much more unsightly
We’ve been lied to people
It’s time we move on to a place with less worth
A place the humans don’t call earth
We have to go somewhere far
I’ve heard of this little red place the humans call mars
They won’t get there soon
The furthest they’ve gone is their moon
This has been a Public service announcement.”
– Matthew Martin, 11
6C Network 
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